Thursday, July 7, 2016

One Very Important Secret To A Long Marriage

I’ve been able to talk to several older women in my life, and ask them for the information as to how they were able to keep their marriage going so strongly and for so long. Marriage’s today have an alarming rate of divorce, and if you sit and think about it for long enough it can really make you sad. It makes you scared to commit, for fear of failure.

We’ve all seen the viral Facebook stories of the old man that would still go to him and his wife’s favorite spot, even after she is gone. We’ve all seen the stories of how flowers are delivered to a gravesite, instead of her hands because it was something that he did every Valentine’s Day.  My Nana and Papa have something similar, neither of them have passed thankfully, but my Papa was a truck driver for most of their years married.  Now, these two don’t sleep in the same bed…or the same room for that matter (a matter of snoring) but each time before he would leave she would kiss him at the door and they would tell each other they loved them.  He no longer drives cross-country, but he does work everyday. Everyday they do the same routine.  She meets him at the door with a kiss, and an exchange of “I Love You”s. 

My point in all of this being, I think part of what makes a happy marriage is finding your “thing”. It may be a simple kiss before bedtime, hand holding every Sunday on your way to church, or it could be eating at the same restaurant every Thursday. Whatever it is, find it and cling to it. Do it, even when you are angry. I think this is something to help the mind remember the love, and the vows, that you share for each other.

My husband and I have our “thing”.  In our bed one or both children usually separate us. We can’t really “cuddle” most of the times, but we always make sure our feet touch. Sounds silly, believe me I know. But if I don’t put my feet on his, he will put his on mine. What makes this even funnier is that I dislike feet. Seriously feet make me cringe, but this works for us.  It even works when we are in an argument. I don’t particularly like the idea of going to bed angry, and I try real hard not to have this happen. However, we are all human and there are times that it has. However, even in the mist of a fight we always make sure to touch our feet as we go to bed. Soon after, the hearts soften and “I’m sorry” happens a lot quicker.  Why? I guess because it is an icebreaker… and sometimes that ice needs to be broken.

Feel free to share your stories in the comments below! Do you have a “thing” with your husband that you do everyday? Did your grandparents? Let me know!

Thursday, June 23, 2016

3 Things To Remember During Your Next Marital Argument

Do you always like your husband? Let’s be honest here, no we don’t. I always love and respect my husband, but that doesn’t mean that I always like him. Like my grandmother says, “Some days I just want to hit him in the head with a frying pan.”

That is life. God never promised that our life would be simple, or easy. People aren’t perfect either. I wish I could say that my house was perfectly clean, my kids completely perfect, and that when my husband came home I was wearing pearls, high heels, and dressed to a tee with a fantastic 5 course meal waiting for him. But it doesn’t happen that way.

Most days, he comes home to me in yoga pants, hair pulled up, and the children (half dressed) destroying quicker than I can pick up.  I’m sure there are days, when he would like to hit me with a frying pan. But that is a part of marriage. Marriage can be messy, ugly, bittersweet, and can sometimes really hurt your feelings.  So here are a three things to pray about the next time you find yourself in the mist of an argument.


Friday, June 10, 2016

When Overwhelm is the New Normal

Mom life is hard.  Wife life is hard. Life is hard.

It is never an intentional plan to become overwhelmed, but it happens. One day we are singing songs in a field, and the next we aren’t even sure which way is up. We get so tangled up in life, and it makes everything even worse.  We want to scream, cry, and throw temper tantrums like the kids are doing in the living room floor. I know many women that have this issue and it overtakes our lives. But what are we supposed to do?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV

Take your burdens to the Lord. Take every single one. He doesn’t care if you stumped your toe this morning, or have been diagnosed with a medical condition. He wants to know, he wants to help, and he wants to give you peace. The trick with taking the burdens to him is leaving them with him. If you have been shopping, and come home to find that the shirt you purchased has a hole in it, you wouldn’t take it to the store and complain, then bring it back with you would it? No, you would leave it there for them to take care of. That is what he wants you to do. Leave your problems with him, and he will take care of them. You will achieve a sense of peace knowing that he has them, and is in control.

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5 NIV

No matter what you are facing, you can get through it.  He will be there, through everything and in everything.  He doesn’t like to see us in pain, filled with anxiety or feeling out of control. That is not his doing. He is the one holding your hand, letting you cry on his shoulder and giving you the strength to continue on even when you think you can’t.  He’s not going to leave you in the middle of a crises, cling to him and hold on to him. Let him be the light that is carrying you through knowing that he is the one person that you can forever depend on.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Philippians 4: 8 NIV

When you are having one of those days, when everything is wrong. When you find yourself crying in the bathroom floor, and can’t handle it. Think on the good things. Yes it would be hard. But start at the basics. Be thankful for the air you are breathing, the heart that is beating and go on from there. Keep building it up and keep thinking on the wonderful things you have to be thankful about.  It is often said that a positive attitude can make a difference, and I believe that is so true. Instead of seeing the messy house, the uncontrollable toddlers, and the never-ending job; see them as a safe home, healthy children, and a way to provide for them.  Find the good amongst the negative and hold on to it.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Ephesians 6:13 NIV

Having faith can make a huge difference of every aspect of life.  The evil is what makes us have these days, and when we hold on to our faith; we defeat that evil. Wearing the full armor of God is so important in everyday life! It says so right there, that when you wear it you can stand your ground, and still stand even after the evil has raged on! You can and you will get over this season of overwhelm. It is nothing more than a season of life, it may be a very long season, but it will eventually end in one way or another.  

You will get over this time in your life, you will make it out.  One day you will look back, and be able to call this the “rough time” in your life. With faith, with God, and with a little bit of a determination you will overcome anything that you are going against in your life. I pray that if you are reading this, that you will grab to the Lord and cling to him! I pray that you get over this time in you life, and remember that it is perfectly okay to cry, scream, even stomp your fit! It is okay to feel sorry for ourselves at times, as long as you remember to get up and dust yourself off and keep on going. The Lord isn’t going to give up on you; you shouldn’t give up on him and his plan! Keep holding that head up, and keep going on in faith!


Friday, June 3, 2016

Vacation & Humility

*I did receive tickets for part of this trip, but the thoughts on this post are mine and mine alone. The compensation did not sway me to leave any type of review.*

God sure does know how to humble us doesn’t he? He has been making sure that I am humbled these past few weeks, and its great but difficult life lesson at time. We wanted a family vacation. We wanted one now. That was not the plan for us this year.


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Why I Took My Husband's Last Name

There seems to be a controversy going on about whether or not a women should take her husband’s last name. Like many controversy’s today, this used to not even be a question-it was standard practice. The woman would take her husband’s last name without a thought, and no one thought anything about it, but today it appears it is not that easy.

There are many reasons why a woman may or may not take her husband’s name. I am not here to judge you. It just seems that in many social media aspects the idea of taking your husband’s last name is seen as a sign of being weak, or “just giving in to tradition”. I hope that if you are reading this post, and if you are wondering about if you should take his last name, that you remember that it is not a sign of being weak or anything like that. It is a personal choice. A choice that you have to make. I made my choice, and I am happy to have my husband’s last name. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

© The Outnumbered Nest
Maira Gall